Dear Geoff,

Nobody objects to you going fishing. We would just like to understand why this required the rest of us to have Sunday morning off as well.

Surely somebody else could have opened the Chapel? We would have been quite happy to sit together for an hour without anything being formally led.

If the fishing trip takes place every year, there should be enough notice to arrange this. Several of us kept Sunday morning free for the Chapel service, which is difficult to do much about once you are standing outside a closed building.

Could a spare key be left with somebody willing to open up when you are away? I am happy to help occasionally.

Please take this as an offer of help rather than a criticism of you personally.

Henry and Gayle Spackmore

Please allow this message to serve as an Official Complaint to The Chapel Committee.

Recently, I have been made aware that my site sybernetics.net has received the immense honor of becoming Chapel Approved. While I am thrilled to have been selected by the committee to receive this title and the permission to display the Official Chapel Approved badge, I'm afraid it has caused a rift in my relationship with Ichomancer - who your organization may recognize from Ichomancer's Domain ichomancer.com.

Ichomancer - while thrilled by my recent accomplishment - has expressed severe disappointment in his lack of Chapel Approvement status, despite his ongoing services maintaining the habitat for Brian, the Fish. The disappointment this issue has caused has lead to strife in our relationship including (but not limited to) arguments about whose website is more fun, the silent treatment, and general pain and suffering.

Additionally, It has lead to the question - why would The Chapel Committee agree to have a digital fish hosted on a site that has not been officially Chapel-Approved?

Within the Chapel's information message regarding Chapel Approvement, you state: "If the Chapel is following your site, there was something on it that we liked, and we permit you to display the badge above, if you should wish to do so."

I would argue that the Aquarium where Brian is currently hosted would constitute as "something on it we liked".

While your Chapel Approvement information does state that he is "permitted" to use the badge (as The Chapel is currently following his site, as of writing) this does not constitute being the honorary recipient of being an officially chapel approved website, like myself.

To resolve this issue, I would be most appreciative if you could provide an Official Service recognizing Ichomancer as an Official Chapel Approved site.

Furthermore, I would like to sincerely apologize if this is the wrong place to submit a Formal Complaint - however, this leads me to my next complaint, which was that it was very hard to find the appropriate complaint channel or form.

I hope that this formal complaint finds you in good faith, please note that despite the issues this has caused I am still honoured to be Officially Chapel Approved. My development team is currently working on an appropriate display for the badge to ensure it is kept safe.

Sincerely,
Sybernetics

I wish to make a formal complaint about my conduct as the developer of the Chapel website, which has led to visitors experiencing unreasonable delays when opening pages.

I accept that I have, on occasion, transferred blame to the visitors and suggested that their difficulties were related to poor internet service around the Chapel. I now know that this was not the only reason they were struggling.

I became aware of the full extent of the problem through remarks overheard in local businesses. By this point, the Chapel’s name was apparently being used to describe any circumstance involving an excessive wait. I cannot say how widely this expression has spread, but it seems to be in common parlance at least in Rowthale.

I am deeply ashamed of having brought this institution into disrepute.

The Chapel Computer Club helped me to fix the site speed and I subsequently published an apology. Whilst this public apology did not immediately appear on the site, I am assured that this was because of the five-minute caching solution that we have implemented.

I realise that this has introduced a more serious problem concerning the health and safety of visitors. In the event of a fire or other threat within the Chapel building, the first step of the Chapel emergency action plan is to publish an alert on the website. Under the new arrangement, this alert may take five minutes to appear. I am concerned that those of us already aware of the fire would find it difficult to carry on normally until everyone else had read the notice.

I ask the committee to consider whether my handling of the website fell below the standard reasonably expected of my role.

As both the complainant and the subject of this complaint, I recognise that there may be a conflict of interest. I will therefore leave the room during any discussion of my conduct, provided another member is willing to take the minutes. I would prefer that this is agreed beforehand, as on the previous occasion I left a meeting on principle, no record was made of my having done so.

I will accept any sanction the committee considers appropriate.

**UPDATE: 16 October 2026.
The committee has now dealt with this matter.

“If five hours of speaking cannot warm a room, questions need to be asked about the speakers.”

• Margaret Albasson

•••••••••••••

“The boiler has effectively vetoed public speaking.”

• Tony Whitlesay

•••••••••••••

“I was going to wear a coat anyway”

• Colin Strake

•••••••••••••

"Another knee-jerk reaction from the committee"

• Simon Potts

•••••••••••••

“I thought we were getting free jumpers from the charity cupboard?”

• Alan Steeple

•••••••••••••

“Simon being readmitted and then the Showdown being cancelled feels like it was planned, even if it wasn't.”

• Anonymous

•••••••••••••

“The phrase ‘until further notice’ is doing a lot of work here.”

• Mary Jackson/

•••••••••••••

“I don’t see why the sermons couldn’t have been live-streamed, and people voted from home.”

• Jean Hutton

•••••••••••••

“Wait, it's only September. It's not even cold yet.”

• The Spackmores

Dear Mr Thomas,

I am writing to make a formal complaint regarding the hole in the ground immediately outside the front door of the Chapel.

On Sunday, after leaving the service, I stepped down from the doorway and caught my foot in what I can only describe as either a pothole or the beginning of a sinkhole. I twisted my ankle badly and have since been told it is sprained. I am now having to keep it raised and avoid unnecessary walking, which is not convenient.

I understand that old buildings and yards require maintenance, but this was directly in the path used by people leaving the Chapel. It was not marked, covered, or pointed out to me beforehand. Had I known it was there, I would have taken more care, or used another exit if one had been available.

I would be grateful if this matter could be treated seriously and if steps could be taken to make the entrance safe before somebody else is injured. A temporary cone, board, or notice would at least show that the risk has been recognised.

Please also confirm whether the Chapel intends to record this as an accident and what action will now be taken.

Yours sincerely,
Mary Jackson