Members are asked to remain alert. These people are not your new friends, they are acting on behalf of Wrinhale.

Questions may initially appear conversational. Particular care should be taken if general enquiries develop into persistent questioning about whether the Council has replied (not yet), who owns the field (Mr Christopher Dunn), or what we intend to do next (hasten a response NLT 6 November).

Remain polite but do not give away our position.

A person asking a question is not, by itself, proof that they are from Wrinhale. Equally, a person saying they are not from Wrinhale should not bring all reasonable enquiry to an end.

If approached:

• Refer questions about the 5G mast campaign to Geoff.
• Do not speculate about ongoing discussions or suggest that approval is imminent.
• Do not leave mast-related correspondence unattended where unknown visitors might read it.
• Make a note of what was asked and pass it to Geoff afterwards.

Members should not accuse visitors publicly or attempt to remove them. Being unfamiliar with the Chapel is not sufficient grounds for suspicion, as we are still attempting to attract new people. 67% of respondents to the ongoing poll have indicated they live elsewhere.

Much of our campaign information is already available on the website. This does not mean we need to assist Wrinhale in locating the relevant pages. Do not mention how effective the website search facility is.

Be alert, keep shtum.

Geoff Thomas
Caretaker

Anyone travelling to the Chapel on today’s No Questions Air Cargo flight listed for Breef should be aware that the flight will need to divert to Hagminister (HAG). Breef Airfield is not yet equipped to receive international arrivals.

The Community Action Group for Breef Airfield Development, known locally as the Community Action Group for B.A.D., has arranged for a bus and van to meet the flight at Hagminister for onward transport to the Chapel of St Letus Salata. It is not known what cargo is on its way, or how many regular passengers there might be.

The scheme to convert the emergency grass airstrip six miles north of Breef into a suitable international arrival point has not yet been completed. We are still waiting for Stephen to identify the relevant departments at East Thameside Council. The necessary runway, terminal, customs and passenger facilities are not yet in place, hence this late diversion. It was lucky I noticed the flight listing this morning as we had no prior correspondence from the airline about it.

Although the flight listing is an encouraging indication of interest of international visitors, it has arrived ahead of the supporting infrastructure. The existing shed and fire bucket do not satisfy the current regulations for an international airport.

I have advised No Questions Air Cargo of the position and hope that the following message can be relayed to passengers before the flight lands.

We apologise for the change to your journey and look forward to welcoming you at the Chapel.

Please do not arrange for anyone to collect you from Breef Airfield.

Geoff Thomas
For the Community Action Group for B.A.D.

Please make sure your poster clearly states what you do and how people can contact you. Check the spelling and telephone number before sending it. I can put a poster on the website, but I cannot correct the telephone number once you have gone to the effort of converting it to pdf.

The purpose of the directory is to help members find goods, services and activities available within our own community. Please consult the directory every day before taking your custom elsewhere. There are people locally who would benefit from your business, and all clubs would appreciate new members.

Until the Wrinhale Community Action Group withdraws its opposition to the Chapel’s proposed 5G mast, I am asking members to avoid shopping in Wrinhale and support our local businesses wherever possible.

Wrinhale made it clear that it only cares about its own residents and businesses, and we wait until they have everything they require first. I see no reason why our shopping destinations cannot wait on the same basis.

Please send posters to me through the website’s Contact page.

Let me know if your details change or your club stops meeting, so that the directory remains useful.

Access the Local Business Directory here.

Having made several statements about how much better the website has become under my management, this is particularly embarrassing, and I would be grateful if those statements could be read in relation to the amount of information available rather than the ease of obtaining it. I take full responsibility for any distress this has caused.

The matter first came to my attention while I was waiting in the Post Office. Two elderly women ahead of me were comparing the queue and slow service of the postmaster to the time it takes TinChapel to open. I initially dismissed this as something I must have misheard. Neither woman attends the Chapel, although apparently both have sufficient experience of our website to discuss its shortcomings in public. Later, whilst at a cafe in Rowthale, I distinctly heard a chap say he had been “Tin Chapel’d” after waiting ages to be served in another shop. His companion understood immediately. I did not introduce myself.

I have since checked the website properly and found that the criticism was justified.

I am very sorry to anyone who has sacrificed their evenings trying to read the latest notices, obtain a form or inspect meeting minutes. My recent advice that people should move nearer a window or halfway up Chapel Lane was clearly not sufficient. The local signal remains poor, and our request for a 5G mast still stands, but I accept that some of the waiting was being caused by bad website design for which I am ultimately responsible.

Tonight, the Chapel Computer Club investigated the matter and helped me to implement a caching solution. This means keeping a copy of the information for five minutes instead of requesting it all again whenever somebody opens a page. I am grateful to the CCC for their assistance, which demonstrates the value of the club and the Chapel-bought computers beyond the activities for which they are usually occupied.

If you notice any other issues with our pages loading, please tell me directly. I would prefer to receive this information first, before the name of our institution becomes an established measurement of time.

I have submitted a formal complaint about myself for the committee's consideration and will accept any punishment or sanction that may be forthcoming.

This has been introduced to improve efficiency and streamline operations at the hatch, particularly during busy periods when unnecessary queuing, repeated requests for more milk and sugar, along with biscuit uncertainty can delay proceedings. Members are asked to remain seated whilst they complete their order, rather than involve Jean in the decision-making process.

Members may choose from three different types of tea (porcelain, builder's or china) with biscuits added as required. Due to limited human resources we are unable to offer homemade sandwiches and rolls at this time, hence why the cafe has been rebranded from 'Jean’s Baps' to a more generic 'Jean's Hatch'.

The system is working, although it will be much better when the 5G mast is installed and people have more internet signal in and around the Chapel. Until then, members experiencing connection difficulties should move nearer a window or halfway up chapel lane where the signal can be slightly better.

I do not know who put them there or what they are for. If they are to warn us about something then I need to know what that something is. If they have been left here by mistake then they need collecting.

They were not present when I arrived at approximately 7:25am, and I have not heard anyone knocking on the door or otherwise making themselves known.

If you are aware of a reason for the cones, for example planned road or drainage works, repairs to the wall or gate, a visit from a celebrity, or any other organised activity, please let me know. I have checked through my messages and emails and cannot find anything about cones.

Please leave the cones where they are for the time being. If they have been placed for a genuine reason, moving them may create a problem that will then be blamed on the Chapel, i.e. me.

If you know anything about them, please contact me.

UPDATE: 13 October, we held a meeting about the cones which are still here, and are still unexplained. Click here to read the minutes of the meeting.

Following the recent donation of new books purchased with funds kindly waived by Glyn Huffmorton after the south-west gutter inspection, Mary Jackson has advised that she is no longer able to continue administering the community phone box library due to not having the time for its proper administration.

Mary has done a considerable amount of work keeping the phone box stocked, tidy, and broadly presentable, but she has struggled to keep sufficient records about which books were being borrowed by whom, and which had not been returned. This has led to a dilution in available reading materials.

The addition of several new books has made the administration of the community library more substantial than it was before. Mary has therefore decided that the sensible course is for responsibility to pass to the Chapel, where it can be administered properly as a community asset.

The Committee has accepted this transfer in principle.

A further notice will be issued in due course setting out the rules for borrowing, donating, returning, and not leaving unsuitable material in the phone box. A Book Register has been created so that books can be tracked more easily than relying on Mary's fragile memory.

In the meantime, visitors may continue to use the phone box library respectfully.

The Chapel thanks Mary for her service to the library and looks forward to making the arrangement much better run than it has previously been.

Representatives from Huffmorton Construction Ltd. carried out a visual inspection of the south-west gutter and its adjacent downpipe after our Sunday Service this morning. The inspector identified a small tennis ball lodged in the top of the downpipe, causing rainwater to overflow down the wall beside the side entrance.

The tennis ball has now been removed and the guttering is draining normally again.

Visitors are thanked for their patience while this matter was looked into. I am also taking this opportunity to provide notice that No Ball Games are to be permitted in the chapel grounds from this point forward. Physical signs will also be placed around the grounds advising those members who won't see this message due to not having access to a computer.

This matter is now considered closed.

I have some fantastic news to share with you this evening which has the potential to increase our congregation substantially.

As many of you know, there has been a lot of interest in our chapel recently from our American cousins. A few weeks ago we were even discussing opening a US chapter of the chapel to cater for our 100% American following on Bluesky, though these plans were subsequently put on hold due to follower numbers halving overnight when Angela unexpectedly left.

Well, now we may have found a better solution. Instead of us going out to them, we bring them to us. We move the mountain to Goliath, if you will.

Tonight I have been in consultations with Andy Z, the manager at Pan-Continental airport, and have been told that they are ABSOLUTELY planning to establish a direct route between Los Angeles (California) and our nearest airport. Visitors can then use ground transportation links to get to the chapel. Our nearest airfield is 6 miles north of Breef, although it is currently only set up as an emergency grass airstrip with no supporting infrastructure beyond a small shed and a bucket of sand with the word Fire written on it.

This airfield at Breef has seen decades of underinvestment, which I believe has been holding the County back. Whilst I am not strictly qualified to say so, I am sure there is space on this site for expansion into a fully serviced international airport, so I will instruct Stephen to make arrangements with East Thameside Council for the necessary upgrades and improvements.

In the meantime, the chapel will form a community action group to make sure that the opportunity promised by Pan-Continental is not wasted.

UPDATE: The inaugural meeting for the community action group was held this lunchtime. Reference TC-MIN-2006-005 relates to the minutes of the meeting.

To support chapel operations and ensure fair and orderly use of the available spaces, attendees are asked to park with greater care and regard for the needs of others.

A plan has been devised that details the following space allocations:

Parking Space Allocations

• Bays 1-8: Committee members only
• Bays 9-12: VIP visitors only
• Bays 13-16: Loading and unloading only, short stay maximum 10 minutes
• Bays 17-26: General parking

Please note that parking in the wrong bay, overstaying in the loading/unloading bays, or otherwise disregarding the Parking Plan may result in the following action:

• First occasion: A reminder will be issued.
• Second occasion: A formal warning will be issued.
• Third occasion: The individual will be prevented from using the chapel car park for a period determined by the committee. Repeat offenders will be banned indefinitely.

External contractors have been arranged to inspect parking space conformity on an adhoc basis.

Thank you for your cooperation.

6 October (update)

Updated this post to include correspondence received from the following members:

• Mary Jackson
• Tony Whitlesay
• Margaret Albasson

I have received a letter from TV Licensing stating that there is no record of a television licence at the Chapel and that an officer may visit to check whether television is being watched, recorded, or whether a signal is being received at this location.

For clarity, the Chapel does not have a television.

I am concerned this may relate to the public screening of Pubtoons.com held last month after the September Showdown could not go ahead. That event used borrowed projection equipment and was not intended to create the impression that the Chapel had acquired a television. The stream was not a live television broadcast or a recording of one on iplayer or anywhere else.

Anyone who attended the screening is asked to confirm that no live TV was being watched at that time. Anyone who has visited the Chapel recently is asked to confirm that they have not seen a television anywhere on the premises. Please include the date of your visit and which areas of the Chapel you entered.

Visitors are also reminded not to bring televisions, portable screens for live broadcast viewing, or equipment likely to confuse the matter onto the premises until this matter has been resolved.

Thank you.

*Update — 20 October 2026
A further letter has arrived from TV Licensing advising that an investigation has now been opened and that an officer may visit the Chapel.

I had understood the previous letter to mean that they were already investigating, but apparently that was a separate stage.

I have written back confirming that we do not have a television and offering to provide photographs of the rooms in which we do not have one.

It would assist me if they could identify which room they are concerned about, as this would reduce the number of photographs required.

No officer has visited so far but I am expecting one any day now.

The game was played as a team effort, with Tony and Priya sharing responsibility for planning, movement, and general decision-making. This arrangement worked fairly well once Tony had accepted he was going to play second fiddle to Priya.

For those unfamiliar with the game, Cannon Fodder requires the team to guide a small unit of soldiers through a series of missions. It rewards patience and careful control.

After several attempts, the CCC team completed the agreed mission without losing Jools, or any other soldier to a stray bullet. This shows that dedication and months of training can be turned into good results. They were cheered on throughout the three-hour gaming session by other members of the group.

This is a good example of the Computer Club working together in a constructive way, and encouraging each other towards a satisfactory outcome.

The result will be added to the Club record.

A question was raised after recent Sunday gathering, to which the Committee confirms that the short period of silence is intended for private reflection only.

It is not to be used for private or guided prayer, and it is not an invitation for any person to restart religious activity on the premises by discreet means.

Members may think about whatever suitable subject they wish during the silence. They should not instruct others what to think, listen for what others may be thinking, or ask afterwards what someone else was doing with the time.

The silence should normally last no longer than two minutes unless prior notice has been given. You should not try to peep at other people during this time to see whether their eyes are shut too.

This clarification is issued to prevent further confusion and to avoid anyone restarting formal worship activites.

This has become more urgent now that the Chapel Computer Club is up and running and residents are making proper use of online services, including banking, forms, educational materials, family communications, gaming, and other legitimate digital activities.

A peaceful demonstration will therefore be held in the empty field behind the Chapel, where attendees believe one or more 5G masts could be sensibly located.

DATE: 10 October 2026

TIME: 16:00 - 19:00 (unless it gets dark earlier)

LOCATION: Field behind chapel

The countryside in this area is currently very empty and lacking in useful or interesting structures. A mast would provide a clear public benefit, improve connectivity, and give the field a more defined purpose.

Stephen attended the Plain Speaking event in a listening capacity and was asked to take the matter forward with the Council. He was unable to promise an outcome at the meeting, which was disappointing to many attendees. The demonstration is intended to show the strength of local feeling in a lawful and peaceful way.

Attendees are asked to bring suitable footwear, as the field may be uneven. No climbing, chanting through amplification, or interference with livestock should take place.

I have compiled some suggestions for those wishing to bring signage:

- PUT THE MAST HERE

- EMPTY FIELD= NO SIGNAL

- FULL FIELD= FULL SIGNAL (must stand next to the person above)

- 5G FOR ALL, NOT JUST PEOPLE NEAR TOWN

- THE COUNTRYSIDE NEEDS MORE STRUCTURES

- NO MORE LAG

- MASTS MEAN PROGRESS

- NO SIGNAL IS A COMMUNITY ISSUE

- INSTALL THE MAST(S) NOW

I have taken the liberty of producing a technical drawing showing the preferred site(s) on the understanding that this was completed before a ground survey has been undertaken.

Please parade in the Chapel yard, where you will be divided into cleaning parties and allocated tasks. Members may leave once I have inspected the Chapel at 12:00 and am satisfied that the required standard has been met.

If the required standard has not been met, there will be a re-inspection at 15:30.

Before any date is set, we need to know whether there is enough decent jumble to make it worthwhile.

Items should be clean, high-value, complete, and the sort of thing someone might reasonably want to buy.

Unlike some previous jumble sales we have hosted, this one will not feature broken electricals, incomplete games, unlabelled cables, or clothing that is only fit to be thrown away.

At this stage, we have not committed to holding the event, so please do not bring anything to the Chapel without prior agreement. We do not have space to store speculative jumble. Items left in or near the porch will be treated as fly-tipping and reported accordingly.

The sale will only go ahead if there is enough suitable stock to justify opening the Chapel, setting up tables, and asking volunteers to stand behind them. If not, we will leave it. There is no point moving a load of junk into the Chapel only for you to take it home again a few hours later.

Please contact me with a brief description of what you can offer. A photograph of each item would also be helpful.

It will rehearse with the sole intention of entering proper competitions, including those where prize money, publicity, or televised exposure may be available.

Any money won would be directed towards Chapel repairs, unless otherwise agreed by the committee writing.

Applicants should send a short voice note before attending any rehearsal. This is to avoid unnecessary journeys and to ensure that rehearsal time is not taken up assessing those with no hope of being allowed to participate. There will be a strict admittance standard. Margaret will be listening for musical ability, reliability, and evidence that the applicant can improve without becoming difficult.

Successful applicants will be expected to:

• Attend rehearsals when called.
• Learn material properly.
• Accept direction from Margaret.
• Preserve their voices for competitive opportunities.
• Understand that the choir’s purpose is to win or at least come second in any competition entered.

Margaret has indicated that she may also consider managing individual performers separately where it becomes clear that the group is holding them back and a solo path would better serve all of our prospects.

Interested applicants should send a voice note including their name, relevant singing experience and their general availability to Margaret at the earliest opportunity.

Please do not attend the chapel in person until invited.

This section contains downloadable forms for a number of common Chapel processes, including hall booking requests, key register entries, reimbursement claims, incident records, archive material submissions, and accidents or near-misses. These forms are intended to ensure that requests and reports are submitted in a consistent format, with the necessary details included at the first attempt.

Additional forms may be added as the need arises.

The introduction of standard forms is expected to improve the smooth running of Chapel administration by reducing informal messages and undocumented verbal requests. It will also assist the Caretaker in keeping proper records and responding to matters in the correct order.

The Council has further advised that written forms are required as part of ongoing regulatory compliance arrangements. The Chapel is therefore adopting this process to demonstrate that matters such as keys, expenditure, bookings, incidents, accidents and near-misses are being handled with the appropriate seriousness.

Please use the correct form wherever possible. Submitting information in a homemade format or via a third party may delay our response and break automated systems.

You are reminded that we reserve the right to publish non-sensitive extracts of the forms received for public awareness reasons.

I have just spoken to Stephen and Glyn regarding the boiler having completely broken down and being out of operation.

I have also been advised by the plumber that he is unable to attend until tomorrow, as he has already purchased tickets for the Rangers v City match this afternoon, kick-off 3.00 PM. While this is disappointing, I can understand why he won't be moved from this position.

In light of the situation, I am sorry to report that the Committee has agreed that all events scheduled for this weekend must be cancelled. This includes the annual September Showdown, and the subsequent Sunday Service.

Stephen has indicated that we cannot reasonably expect people to sit for several hours in the cold. It has also been noted that, while coats and jumpers remain available from charity storage cupboard 3, members cannot be required to wear them if they do not wish to do so.

We realise this news will be extremely disappointing. This is the first time in living memory that the annual Showdown has not taken place, and I know some members will feel the loss of it very keenly. Unfortunately, the present circumstances are outside our control.

The Committee is working to resolve the situation as quickly as possible, and we hope normal service can resume shortly.

If the matter becomes prolonged, we may consider arranging a series of outdoor events until we can return indoors again.

Following the recent Health and Safety correspondence, I attempted to increase the internal temperature of the Chapel this morning.

Shortly after the adjustment was made, the boiler began making a funny noise again. This is the reason we have been avoiding fiddling with it.

The system was left for approximately ten minutes in the hope that it would settle. Unfortunately, the noise increased rather than reduced, after which the boiler gave a final splutter and ceased functioning completely.

Until the boiler can be inspected and repaired, the Chapel is unheated.

As a temporary measure, the charity cupboard will remain open during services and meetings. Anyone feeling cold may take a jumper, cardigan, coat, scarf, or other suitable layer from the cupboard for use while inside the Chapel. Please return borrowed items to the cupboard before leaving, unless the item is clearly unsuitable for further use, in which case please speak to me (Geoff).

Members will also be aware that Simon Potts has now been permitted to return to the Chapel as an ordinary member of the congregation. At some point in the future, Simon may resume taking the charity items to the central collection point but will not happen until such time as he has demonstrated that he can again be trusted and can handle the associated responsibility.

I have informed Glyn and Stephen about this development and will let you know when a competent plumbing specialist has carried out the repair.

Please note the deadline for responses is Friday, 5PM.

Read Simon's letter

Thank you

This is your Chapel, and whilst the committee is very good at organising frequent events, it is hoped they may be better attended if the ideas came from you, our congregation.

Here are the suggestions we have had so far:

Margaret proposed a seasonal recipe exchange, with members invited to bring written recipes suitable for those with budget constraints.

Mary has suggested a short series of talks on personal safety and preparedness, including when to ask for help, and the importance of telling someone where you are going.

Tony has suggested a plain-speaking evening, at which members of the public may raise matters they feel are being overlooked.

Henry has suggested a practical skills morning, covering small repairs and safe use of hand tools.

Gayle suggested a winter reading group, beginning with shorter texts until it is clear how many people intend to attend more than once.

Further ideas are welcomed. Please speak to Glyn in the first instance.

We thank Tony for his honesty in admitting the hole was a probably a result of allowing his grandson to play in the yard with a shovel whilst we were inside watching the football results program. I take partial blame for this as I encouraged Tony to come over despite knowing he was meant to be babysitting.

You will have seen that this incident has caused considerable work to be done already with an aim to rectify the problem through Council funding. Not to mention the suffering it caused Mary who tripped in the hole and sprained her ankle.

Read Mary's complaint
Read the inspection record
Read minutes of relevant meeting

I am pleased to report that the hole has now been filled in. Tony managed to complete a top class job by scraping the original pebbles, that were found nearby, back into the hole with his foot. I will now inform Glyn and Stephen that the matter is closed.

The front door is now back in operation.

The number present at the Sunday observance has been amended from four to three. One person counted near the north window was later determined to have been outside the chapel for the duration of the reading.

Thanks to Glyn for his perseverance in raising this issue at each committee meeting for the last 5 years. Now I have control of the website I have amended the figure recorded and the matter is put to rest.

Green

By Jean Hutton

Green is the colour of grass after rain,
And leaves on the lane by the wall,
Green is the moss on the chapel roof,
And the ivy beginning to crawl.

Green is the colour of hope, they say,
Of spring coming back into view,
Of shoots in the soil and beans on the cane,
And the mould on a cushion or two.

But mostly green is the frog in the ditch,
The frog by the drain and the stone,
The frog in the bucket behind the old shed,
Who prefers to be left alone.

A frog is green in a serious way,
Not showy, or loud, or proud,
He sits with his thoughts in the damp afternoon,
And does not require a crowd.

His little green knees are folded up neat,
His little green eyes are still,
He knows when to jump and he knows when to wait,
At the side of the lane by the hill.

Some people think green is only a shade,
Or a colour for notices and paint,
But a frog understands it as skin and as weather,
Which most of the rest of us ain’t.

So praise to the frog and his sensible coat,
Praise to the pond where he’s been,
For if anyone asks what colour life is,
The answer is probably green.

I can create new posts fine but there doesn't seem to be an option to edit or delete them once posted.

If anyone in the community knows about this stuff then please make yourself known ASAP!

Hi, this is a comment. To get started with moderating, editing, and deleting comments, please visit the Comments screen in the dashboard.

As I said on the phone when you withheld your number - I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR BE PART OF THE CHAPEL ANY MORE.

You've gone too far this time. You need to respect my decision. NO-ONE LIKES BEGGARS.

I suggest you take over the website yourself - if you think you can do a better job of it!

The login details are:
username: simonpotts@tinchapel.com
password: changeme123

And I won't be collecting the charity stuff either so you'll need to rent a van (try the rental place near the station in town, they're meant to be really good value).

Items already left here have not been collected for some time, as Simon has not been able to take them to the central collection point with the regularity he originally promised.
(I didn't promise anything - Simon)

Our storage cupboard is now completely full and, as I have mentioned on several occasions, we are still receiving items unlikely to be welcomed anywhere, including tatty undergarments and over-worn holey slippers. Please note the additional “e”.

Please do not leave any further bags, boxes, or individual items at the Chapel until such time as Simon decides to do the right thing and fulfil his promise.
(No chance, I quit. Don't contact me again - Simon)

The two gentlemen are now known to have not, as previously stated, both been carrying 'Amiga 500s'.

Martin had an Amiga 500 Plus, while Jacob had an Amiga 1200.

Tony has pointed out that the Amiga 500 Plus has enhanced chipset capabilities and more memory than the original Amiga 500, while the Amiga 1200 is a later and more powerful machine with a faster processor, AGA graphics, and built-in IDE support.

He has asked for the record to be amended because, in his words, “they are not the same computer,” and because inaccurate reporting of the Club’s first proper attendance may discourage technically informed members from taking future notices seriously.

Original statement

Obviously, any extra attendance is always appreciated. However, I have received several comments suggesting that he may have been attending in an official capacity, possibly on behalf of the Council’s Health and Safety department.

Mary is adamant he is an undercover policeman and swears she has seen him on a Police show on satellite television.

There should be no cause for alarm. We are simply seeking to confirm whether he is known to the congregation, so that any unnecessary speculation can be brought to an end.

If you do see him around the local area again, don't approach him, but please let me know.

In past times most people attending the Chapel did so on foot. This suited Chapel Lane well enough, as the lane was not designed with modern motor cars in mind, nor with the number of vehicles now sometimes present at services, meetings, and special occasions.

In recent years there have been increasing difficulties with cars being left along the lane, including instances where the road has been partly blocked and access has been almost impossible. This has caused inconvenience to neighbours, visitors, and those attempting simply to turn round at the bottom of the lane.

The new parking area will be suitable for 17 cars and is situated just off the S-bend on Chapel Lane. It is not directly outside the Chapel and members should be aware that there will be a short walk involved. However, the Committee considers this a reasonable arrangement and a necessary inconvenience.

We considered installing EV charging bays but decided it was not commercially viable at this time.

Works will begin August and should take no more than 12 weeks.

The committee usually meets once a quarter, most often by Zoom (since Covid), so the time commitment should be manageable to most.

We particularly need:

• a Deputy Chair to support Glyn, with a view to taking over as Chair at the next AGM
• a Finance Coordinator to help keep an eye on budgets, payments, and reporting
• a Secretary to help with agendas, minutes, records, and general committee administration

We would very much welcome interest from people with different backgrounds, experiences, ages and perspectives. The committee should reflect the people it serves, and we are keen to make it more inclusive, open, and representative. Prior experience is not necessary as full training will be given.

If you care about your community and want to help, please do get in touch. Even if you are unsure, we would be happy to have a conversation and see if there is a role for you.

All roles are unpaid and for a minimum tenure of 3 years.

He was last seen in the vestry yesterday at 5:00 pm and is not known to wander. He is an old cat, and I am very worried because he has missed at least three meals at this point.

Anyone with information is asked to contact the Chapel as soon as possible. There is no reward, but any information would be gratefully received never-the-less.

UPDATE: Thank you for your messages of concern over the last few weeks. Mr Banks wandered in a few minutes after this was posted as if nothing had happened. We are sorry it took so long to update this page.

Anyone with suitable books is invited to donate them.

Mary is particularly looking for romance novels, local history, cookery books, practical guides, and anything generally uplifting or educational.

Please do not donate children’s books, out-of-date road atlases or anything from the For Dummies series of instructional books; these are not wanted and will invariably take up valuable space.

The intention is that residents and visitors may take a book, leave a book, and return the book when finished.

This system relies on trust and common sense. It is not an excuse to use the phone box as a dumping ground for unwanted reading matter.

Books may be brought to Mary directly, or left in the phone box as is the point of the scheme.

Do not bring them to the Chapel - we have far too many books laying around already and have nothing to do with this initiative beyond passing on this message.

Attendance at a service is warmly welcomed, but the welcome does not remove the practical matter of payment. Speakers spend considerable time preparing their remarks, arranging their material and delivering the service, and it should not be assumed that this labour is being offered for nothing.

Several visiting speakers have now indicated that they wll not return if collections remain at their present level.

On one recent occasion the total amount collected was 16p, which is not close to adequate recompense for a morning’s work.

The following people are kindly reminded to settle the matter promptly and to contribute properly in future:

• Margret Albasson
• Tony Whitlesay
• Henry and Gayle Spackmore
• Joseph Brown

At some point, the phrase “Mary woz ere, Xmas 14” has been scratched into the backrest of a pew in the middle row on the right-hand side.

I have discussed the matter with Mary, who says she has no knowledge of it. This leaves three possible explanations:

1. that someone has done this in an attempt to frame Mary,
2. that the inscription has remained unnoticed since Christmas 1914,
3. or that Mary is lying.

Anyone with information is asked to come forward. In the meantime, members are reminded that the pews are part of the Chapel’s fabric and should not be marked, carved, scratched, initialled, dated, or used to settle personal disputes through vandalism.

It has become apparent that some attendees are leaving before the end of the service in order to avoid the collection plate.

In light of this, the collection plate will now be placed by the main door and contributions should be made on entry. Mary has agreed to oversee arrivals and ensure that no one attempts to slip in without contributing.

It's unfortunate that we are having to take these measures but needs must - just pay your dues please.

As you will be aware, the pews can become extremely cold during winter months and this extra padding can provide some warmth, and a degree of comfort, to those that may suffer from any medical conditions that are amplified at this time of year, such as haemorrhoids.

Please ensure that cushions are washed, and that they are not patterned or brightly coloured.

Thank you.

The item is roughly thumb-sized, darkened with age, and appears to have a hinged part, two tiny holes, and no obvious purpose. It doesn't look like it was attached to something else but may be a component from a piece of equipment?

Anyone who recognises it, or who remembers putting it there, is asked to speak to Geoff so that it can be returned, registered in the archive, or disposed of.

First of all, the Chapel has never charged £250 for a biscuit recipe. We have also never charged £2.50 for a biscuit recipe. In fact, until recently, we did not have a biscuit recipe in any official sense.

The rumour appears to have begun as a forwarded email. The email claimed that a woman had asked for the Chapel biscuit recipe after an event and was later billed an unreasonable amount for it. This is not true. No such bill has been issued, and if it had been, it would have gone through the Treasurer first and taken much longer. There would be records.

The message has now been forwarded to several members, sometimes with the instruction to “send this to everyone so they know the truth.” Unfortunately, sending it to everyone has mainly resulted in more people asking whether the Chapel has a famous biscuit recipe, which we did not.

In order to put the matter beyond doubt, and also because people now seem disappointed that there is no recipe, I have prepared one below.

This should not be taken to mean that the original email was correct. It was not. It simply means that the Chapel now has a biscuit recipe because a false rumour has forced us into having one.

Anyone wishing to make the biscuits may do so. No fee is payable. However, donations to Chapel funds remain welcome, particularly from anyone who has already forwarded the email to more than five people.

St Letus Salata Cookie Recipe

Ingredients

• 225g butter, softened
• 200g brown sugar
• 200g caster sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 250g plain flour
• 250g porridge oats, blended or finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 300g chocolate chips
• 100g chopped nuts, optional

Method

1. Heat the oven to 180°C.
2. Cream the butter and sugars together.
3. Beat in the eggs and vanilla.
4. Mix in the flour, oats, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda, and salt.
5. Stir in the chocolate chips and nuts.
6. Spoon onto a baking tray, leaving space between each cookie.
7. Bake for about 10 to 12 minutes, until lightly golden.
8. Leave to cool for a few minutes before moving them.

This should make a fairly large batch, depending on how big you make them.

This evening I received an email from the representative of a deceased Prince, who has explained that a very large sum of money is currently awaiting release and requires only a trustworthy person of good standing to assist with the necessary arrangements.

Naturally, I replied at once and have now sent them three significant payments to facilitate the smooth transfer.

Once the funds become available, I intend to make a substantial donation to the Chapel, with priority given to the roof, heating and general repairs.

I ask members not to spread this news too widely as financial dealings of this size require discretion and confidence.

Our chapel has been a lifeline for me and intend to repay some of that back forthwith.